For Christina

Hello everyone,
so today I'm writing something a little different to my usual posts. I didn't want to jump straight into writing this, so I've given myself a few days to let events sink in and think about the right thing to say, if there is one.

For those of you who don't know, Christina Grimmie was shot and killed over the weekend, and I felt it necessary to write something about this, even just for my own kind of therapeutic needs.
Christina Grimmie was a beautiful person. In no way, shape or form am I claiming to be her biggest fan or most dedicated. Christina was however a big part of my adolescence. I can recall, back before YouTube was all vlogs, beauty hauls and American Candy taste tests, many of the users were aspiring musicians. After school I would come home and find comfort in these videos. As someone who loves music and craved a boost of confidence, I found myself drawn to Christina's videos. She seemed so charismatic and welcoming, as though she were a sister or a friend. Nothing about her felt forced or fake. On top of that, she had a completely compelling voice. She was the YouTube musician I was rooting for, little 'zeldaxlove64.' Until her passing I wasn't aware of how close to my age she was. Whenever I watched her videos there always seemed to be some maturity radiating from her. Christina went on to do brilliant things. She amassed over two million subscribers, toured with Selena Gomez (going on to be managed by Selena's mother and stepfather) and found herself coming third in the sixth season of The Voice.
It seems that her career was blossoming. In February of this year she released an EP, Side A, which had the possibility of a Side B, as well as this, Christina had hopes to release her second album. Everything was going well.
But, for some reason I cannot understand and for which we will never know, Christina's life was ended. Nobody is deserving of what happened to her, but she is the last person you would have expected to have met a fate like this. A calculated and well planned murder. I'm failing to register why anyone would want to hurt Christina. From what I remember, she was a bright, positive person with the greatest faith. There was not one essence of toxicity in her. Christina touched so many people and that's the most beautiful achievement. In the hours between the news of her being critical to her death being announced, so many people I know were tweeting and texting about how they'd grown up watching her. From England, to America and beyond.

What makes Christina's death even more unbelievable, is the environment in which it happened. A meet and greet after a concert, beside the merch. It is a situation near enough anyone can relate to. We've all (for the most part) been to, or know someone who's been to a concert and decided to stay after to meet the main act or opening artist/s. We've queued for merch and excitedly lined up to say hello to the artist and get a selfie or an autograph or have a one time chance to converse. Anyone of us could have been there.

The thing that disturbs me most about what happened is how unprovoked it was. I've seen witnesses talk about being in line to meet her, I've seen a video of how happy and excited everyone was. Christina opened her arms out to this person, she welcomed them with the same enthusiasm and heart that she'd had for everyone else. They took this an opportunity to attack. Christina was defenceless. I can't even begin to imagine how people reacted. How fans had to stand there and watch this insane tragedy unfold before their eyes.

It draws out how, behind being a musician on stage and touring, Christina, like all other musicians and celebrities, was a human being. She has a family, friends and ambitions which have all been destroyed by this. She was a kind soul who didn't deserve to be killed at all, let alone in such a violent, unprovoked attack.

I wish this hadn't happened. I wish I could rewind to 2009, watch her videos for the first time and keep her safe. She should be here, writing Side B, continuing her tour with Before the Exit and living a long, healthy life.

Part of the reason I wanted to write this is because I'm scared. I'm scared Christina will become another statistic in America's gun casualties. I'm scared people will forget her talent. So I'm going to end this post with a few videos of hers I loved, and with the message that life IS too short. Tell your parents you love them, appreciate your friends and work hard to reach your dreams, because everyone deserves the chance to live life. Christina deserved to live.

Thank you for reading,

Aimee :) x